You may have already guessed, but my way of dealing with emotions is most often through writing.
I write this poem, not about my own personal marriage, but as a reflection of marriages and relationships within my family and friends that have broken up.
It’s hard to deal with divorce and break ups.
For me personally, it was a great moment to sit back and reflect and even encourage my spouse to reflect on our own relationship and consider our struggles and strengths.
Perhaps it will give you a moment to pause and reflect on your own relationship.
For we know, relationships are so fragile and delicate.
I hold no judgement toward broken marriages and relationships.
As I know each relationship has its own story.
I don’t have all the answers.
I just have thoughts from this simple poem below.
What caused the Wedge Between Us?
What caused the wedge between us ?
Will we ever know?
It started out so little, but it did continue to grow.
Was it a lack of time together ?
Or perhaps our values weren’t the same?
What caused the wedge between us?
I wish it would go away.
Perhaps it was not talking at dinner,
Or spending time with others,not each other.
Our progression as a couple was not growing linear,
Instead it was growing apart.
But didn’t we love each other?
And commit to have each other’s hearts?
What caused the wedge between us?
It’s pulling us apart.
Was it the lack of simple “I love yous?”
Or no hugs when we got home from the day?
Maybe our hobbies never included each other?
Or our stressors became too much in the way?
What caused the wedge between us?
Will it ever go away?
I feel like our relationship is drowning,
A relationship I just can’t seem to save.
When did our commitment get thrown on the back burner?
How did we let it get this way?
Was it not taking walks while holding hands,
Or was it simply a love that decided to fade?
And now this wedge between us,
It’s haunted us so long,
It’s taken it’s course, it smothered our path
And now our relationship is gone.
The wedge won its big battle
It grew and it grew and it grew.
It wasn’t just one little thing,
It was all the little things we did NOT do,
No holding hands nor hugs nor talks,
We chose hobbies instead of each other,
Our everyday life was made up of a universe without the relationship at the front and center.
So a wedge was made, so small at first..
Nobody thought much of it.
And yet time is a beast, as it created the wedge that became bigger and greater than ever.
What caused the wedge between us?
It’s simply easy to tell,
The relationship wasn’t a priority for every second— of everyday, and time pushed that wedge in the way.
And the wedge won.
So if there’s a wedge between you, decide now what small simple thing you can do..
Start now, this minute, working against a wedge is hard…
Can you fight it?
You can.
But-you must both fight it.
The wedge must be pushed away from both sides,
One sided will push the wedge into the other relationship. It can not be one-sided,
And if the wedge is not fought by both sides,
I’m afraid it’s just a matter of time,
Before the wedge wins,
And the relationship draws the line.
And the couple can’t comprehend:
“What caused the wedge between us?“
—C.N. Austin