It’s hard to narrow down all that I have learned about parenting in my last 7 years.
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A few things that stand out:
-Kids are very forgiving as we learn to parent them.
-I may be in charge of helping my kids learn and grow, but I can NOT control everything they do…even if I want to. It’s hard to send your kids to school all day and know that all that happens to them is out of your hands, however, kids do learn the best this way, when they are solving problems on their own. We can’t bubble wrap our kids through life, even when we feel like we want to. And I will admit, I want to a lot. However, I constantly remind myself to put my faith in my children and their abilities.
(Below is a video discussing a few things I am learning as a parent.)
As I write this post, I write it to remind myself, that despite all the difficulties and stressors around us, God wants us to have joy in life!
I have always loved this quote by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
This quote reminds us that there is light and happiness to be found in EVERYTHING, even those things that are hard.
In 2019, I had my sweet baby girl 5 weeks early due to a heart complication called WPW. Baby girl was fragile and small, and was on medicine around the clock to keep her heart in check.
I was nervous and scared in having to care for this sweet baby girl with monitors and oxygen on her at all times.
Just 5 months later after my baby was born, the world shut down due to the pandemic of Covid 19. The same week of Covid, here in Salt Lake, we experienced a 5.7 earthquake!
Stress settled in, fear took over my heart.
And I had my husband who was constantly reminding me to have “faith over fear.” And even more, my little kids were there to remind me that there is joy to be found in all the hardships we were in.
(below a picture of my cute kids during 2020 ages 4, 2, 6 months.)
Despite the difficulties through the year of 2020, my kids enjoyed building forts, driving past the cattle farms, coloring pictures, FaceTiming family….the list goes on.
Yes, my sweet little toddlers and baby reminded me that we truly are created to have joy. It’s inevitable that we will suffer trials and hardships. And yet, our Heavenly Father does not want us to wallow in our struggles.
Heavenly Father is just like any parent and wants us to enjoy all the moments of life that we can.
I am so thankful for this constant reminder in life.
Even more, I am grateful for sweet children who remind me to smile, have fun, and to enjoy life.
This is something my husband and I are learning as we parent our three young children.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t have values and expectations for our children. More-so, to be careful with the expectations that you do have for your children. Truly consider the consequences of that expectation.
Will the expectation hurt you?
Or more so, will the expectation hinder your child?
An example of this, is my cute first grade son and his reading.
He has been learning how to read since pre-school (it was interrupted by the pandemic).
My husband and I love to read, and always excelled in reading.
This is not the case for my son.
He is a very bright and intelligent boy. As a mom I see he has such an incredible memory, and he has such amazing critical thinking skills.
But currently, reading has been a challenge for him.
Reading is a frustration for him because it’s hard.
He dreads reading.
We read with him every night, but it’s hard for all of us at times.
We have noticed some improvement, even though it’s small, and I am learning to focus on that.
I realize that me setting a high expectation for his reading, is helping no one.
Instead, I realize I need to praise him for trying every time, because it is hard for him and yet he’s learning to do hard things.
And I am learning to focus on his small improvements. Because those small improvements, over time, add up to be big improvements.
My son is our oldest and we are constantly learning how to “parent,” with him.
I feel bad that my son has felt my stress when it comes to reading…and I don’t want that for him or any of my kids.
So from now on, I want him to keep reading, keep trying, but I don’t want to set an expectation that is untouchable for him at this point.
I see his many talents, which are art, sports, being a good friend, working hard , math and so many more.
Reading will come, I know it will. In the mean time, my parenting advice to myself is to “encourage and support, but don’t set a high expectation that pushes him and me into a frustrating and unreachable zone.”
I don’t know how my other kids will do with reading.
But I can tell you that I will remind myself to do the same with my girls; encourage and support, and focus on all the improvements.
Parenting is an amazing journey, but it also can be difficult from time to time. We are all learning and growing together in this fun adventure we call parenthood.
Jody Moore is a life coach and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I personally love her podcast entitled “Better than happy.”
I have learned so many insightful things from Jody Moore. She teaches many different things, but can help anyone navigate through stress, frustration, and hardship. She is encouraging and a delight to listen to. I know her book will be incredible.
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