Again with throwing out ALL the expectations, parenting fits into this as well.
Didn’t we all have those dreams and ideas of how parenting would be?
And it’s not necessarily that our dreams are taken out completely, but when it comes to the “reality” of parenting…our dreams of parenting change.
Basically, until you become parents you seem to have an idea in mind as to how it will be to raise your children.
Then—you see reality, and sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh and know that all is well, nothing is perfect including “parenthood.”
Having expectations just puts more pressure on parenting which stops you from enjoying all the moments.
Here is a list of EXPECTATION VS. REALITY in our current parenting life.
-Expectaion: I will never allow my child to throw crazy, spoiled and spontaneous tantrums because they will know that my parenting style does not allow it.
–Reality: My children ALL have moments of crazy and monumental tantrums and I have no control over most of them. In fact, I have learned the better way to handle it is to walk away and not “REACT,” say a prayer, and then try my very HARDEST to talk to them gently about their poor behavior and set a consequence.
–Expectation: My children will eat very healthy.
–Reality: If my kids have a “taste” of a fruit and a veggie a day, I am ecstatic!
–Expectation: My child will be wise beyond their years. As a former school teacher I will do all I can to have my children reading and writing and learning advanced academics before kindergarten.
–Reality: My son specifically does not enjoy learning from me–his mother. I have to gear up to try my very best to get him to do ONE line of a new letter. He can write his name but sometimes forgets a letter. And you know what? I am completely satisfied because I know he is smart and will do just fine if he isn’t the very top of his class in kindergarten. He learns on his own time in his own way.
Expectation: My children will not go out in public unless they are fully clothed and groomed properly.
–Reality: My baby wears just a onesie most of the time, I am happy to get out the door with me carrying some shoes for the kids, and if they have some attire on, life is good—matching clothes has been thrown out the window! Having hair done is a bonus!
–Expectation: I will have a wonderful and delicious home-cooked meal for my entire family to enjoy six days a week.
–Reality: My son rarely eats what the rest of us do so I start feeling like a short order chef and often get overwhelmed by the idea of what to cook for dinner.
–Expectation: As a mother I will always look my best — hair, makeup and cute clothes on.
–Reality: My go-to outfit is a t shirt and sweats, a headband and a pony tail often grace my hair, and if I get a full face of makeup on —I’m extremely lucky!
–Expectation: majority of my house will be clean and my kids will have set jobs to help keep the house clean.
–Reality: my house has toys everywhere and at the end of the day, my kids do the basics to help clean, but they are still a bit little to help with all the household chores. So, yes my house is not the tidiest these days , and that’s ok.
The list goes on but I just have to say … I write this to remind all of you that life doesn’t go as planned.. whether in your parenting life, work life, or whatever it may be.
It’s ok if you’re “expectations” aren’t your reality.
Should you stop creating goals and expectations ?
Nope?
Should you give yourself some grace ?
Yes.
And can I tell you something more…
I am very happy with my reality in our parenting life, it’s ok with me because at the end of the day… our little family is happy and healthy.
So before you get worried about all the “expectations” you aren’t living up to… remember that you’re not alone.
Give yourself a break.
Enjoy the little moments of your cute kids, it goes oh so fast!
xoxo,
Christy Lee
